


things have changed for me (and that's okay)

by kamunamis



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, M/M, give sousuke justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22514197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamunamis/pseuds/kamunamis
Summary: rin blushes and turns away from sousuke. since the night they made out with each other while drunk, it feels like his affections for sousuke have grown even deeper.  their relationship has definitely changed too, and rin can’t tell if it’s because of the kiss or the melodramatic moment where he found out about sousuke’s shoulder.probably a combination of both.
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	things have changed for me (and that's okay)

**Author's Note:**

> hello i love rin so so much happy birthday shark boy <3

there’s a new face in the swimming club today. rin remembers seeing him earlier at school, where he said his name was yamazaki sousuke.

rin wants to be friends with him when he sees sousuke at the swimming club, but he doesn’t know how to go about it. instead of approaching sousuke, rin just dives into the pool and swims by himself.

they meet each other again by the main entrance, and sousuke’s the one to approach him.

“matsuoka, right?” sousuke says when he taps rin on the shoulder.

“yeah! you can call me rin though!” rin says excitedly.

“i...i like your butterfly! i also swim butterfly!”

rin smirks. “thank you!”

“we should race each other,” sousuke suggests. 

“yeah! next time!” rin says, and he perks up when he sees gou and his mom outside the doors.

“see you tomorrow, sousuke!” rin waves back to sousuke as he runs out to see his family.

rin finally has another playmate! one who swims too! rin likes playing with kisumi but sometimes he’s too loud. sousuke is quiet, so it’s a perfect match.

-

“did you have fun today?” his mom asks him at dinner that night. “i saw you laughing with someone earlier when i picked you up.”

rin beams. “i did! i met sousuke! he swims too, and we’re going to have a race.”

“wow, that’s cool!” she comments.

“it is!” rin says excitedly before going back to his dinner.

his mother wouldn’t tell it to his face, but she’s happy that he had fun today. it’s the first time since his father died that rin’s come home with a  _ real  _ smile on his face.

-

there’s one afternoon where it’s so unbearably hot that no one can think. sousuke is over at rin’s house, and rin’s mom gives them a few yen to go buy some popsicles.

both of them grab for the same popsicle, so they fight over it with their usual rock, paper, scissors game and rin ends up winning.

“i wouldn’t have lost if we competed in butterfly,” sousuke says as rin gloats about how great the ice cream tastes.

“then, next time, want to race using butterfly?” rin suggests. “we could race for…”

“how about the loser has to do any one thing that the winner wants?”

rin beams. “sounds interesting! let’s do it!”

“okay! it’s a promise!” the two of them fist bump each other, and then rin gets up.

“let’s race to the pool!” he yells and immediately starts running.

sousuke gets up and follows him. “hey, no fair!”

rin ends up losing that race, but sousuke hadn’t come up with anything that he wanted rin to do yet. 

-

sousuke fits in well with rin and kisumi whenever they play together. they’re joined at the hip at any given moment, and rin always comes home with a smile on his face.

until he doesn’t.

at the swim club, rin was going to swim in a relay with sousuke, but sousuke doesn’t try his best during the practices. it makes rin upset, because he loves relays and how they remind him of his late father.

to see sousuke not put an effort into the relay...stings.

rin wants his best friend on the relay team, but not if it’s like _ this _ . he supposes that maybe he shouldn’t have tried so hard to convince sousuke to join the relay team in the first place, knowing how he feels about teamwork. despite the fact that their friendship hasn’t been long at all, rin feels like they understand each other well.

he doesn’t confront sousuke about being in the relay until after the competition though. rin knows that they are going to lose the medley relay event with how sousuke’s been slowing the team down, but rin still has a little bit of optimism that sousuke will pull through.

sousuke says that he likes swimming individually more than swimming with a team, because it felt boring if your win was because of other people. sousuke knpws how much the relay means to rin because of his dad, and rin can’t forgive sousuke for disrespecting that, so he punches him.

their mothers break up the fight pretty quickly, but rin is still very upset with sousuke.

the relay team ends up being discontinued when sousuke drops from it and no one else expresses interest in taking his place. it disappoints rin, but he remembers that there was someone at iwatobi swim club that had an amazing freestyle, and rin definitely wanted to swim with him, even though he had beat him when they first met.

_ nanase haruka _ , is what rin sees on the scoreboard afterwards.

rin begs his mom to transfer him to iwatobi, because it would be easier to swim somewhere else than being with sousuke, and she signs the papers without hesitation, excited that he’s passionate about swimming again.

sousuke tries to stop by rin’s house to say goodbye, but when gou told him that sou was at the door, rin throws a pillow to the ground and tells her to tell him to leave. he accidentally scares her in the process, and he feels guilty about it a little bit.

rin’s still upset with sousuke. he doesn’t understand why he’s still angry about it, even though a few months have passed by since then.

-

upon transferring to iwatobi elementary school and joining the swim club there, he notices that haruka is  _ handsome _ , and that rin can’t stop thinking about him.

haru tells him that he only swims freestyle, but rin tries to convince him to join the medley relay as much as he possibly can. haru’s friends makoto and nagisa agree to joining the relay team, and haru begrudgingly joins them after makoto’s prodding.

rin doesn’t know how to explain the weird feeling in his heart whenever he sees haru, but it doesn’t really matter. haru pays more attention to makoto anyway, and they’re there to swim.

sometimes he misses sousuke though, even if he  _ is  _ mad at him.

nonetheless, he’s enjoying his time in iwatobi. he enjoys the dynamic he has with this relay team, and he’s happy that he’s following his father’s footsteps.

when he sees sousuke at a competition, he doesn’t feel the same anger that he used to feel. instead, he feels regret and sadness. they were friends, so they should’ve been able to settle their differences and move past it.

they make eye contact for a split second before nagisa comes up from behind him.

“rin-chan! come on, it’s time to get ready!” nagisa says excitedly.

rin laughs and follows him to the locker rooms.

-

his mom asks him if he wants to go to australia for middle school, to get training and to become even better at swimming. rin doesn’t think twice before saying yes. as much as he loves his friends at iwatobi, he still wants to reach greater heights and get even closer to achieving his father’s dream.

his friends all give him tight hugs and wish him good luck in australia after hearing the news.

-

rin sees sousuke at another competition the day before he’s supposed to leave for australia. that’s when they talk to each other again, and sou apologizes for what happened last year.

rin accepts it. there’s no reason not to, as he’s missed sousuke.

“i heard from some other kids that you’re gonna be leaving tomorrow...for australia,” sousuke says.

rin nods. “i’ll get better there! when i get back, i’m gonna beat you when we race!”

sousuke laughs.

_ it’s nice to finally be friends with sousuke again _ , rin thinks.

sousuke ends up going to the train station with rin right before he leaves. rin asks about the promise they had made, but sousuke still hadn’t come up with anything.

“i guess i’ll look forward to asking you next time we meet,” sousuke says.

-

australia, at first, is a fun place. rin likes the scenery, and he is in awe of how lucky he is to be swimming here. he writes letters to sousuke all the time, because it’s just easier like that.

he once tries to write a letter to haru, but he gets too scared to send it. rin has already spent the money on the stamp and the envelope, so he figures that he might as well change the letter and send it to sousuke instead.

eventually rin finds that australia isn’t as fun as he thought it would be. he is homesick. the letters to his friends and family aren’t enough. he isn’t getting better and stronger like the other kids are. people make fun of him for his accent.

rin doesn’t say anything though, he doesn’t want to waste the opportunity he had to train here.

eventually he stops sending letters to his friends, too ashamed to tell them anything.

-

rin comes home during winter break and runs into haru. rin had hoped that swimming with haru again might give him the confidence he used to have, but it doesn't. he loses in his race with haru and he feels humiliated. he’s in a  _ swimming school _ , and he can’t  _ win _ .

what is he swimming for?

rin figures that thinking about his friends and iwatobi is setting him back, so when he gets back to australia, he forces himself to forget about it and focus on becoming stronger than haru.

-

during his second year of high school, rin returns to japan and transfers to samezuka. at first, he doesn’t join the swim team, since australia was rough. but after running into haru, makoto, and nagisa at the old swim club building, he suddenly remembers how much he wanted to beat haru.

long story short, rin realises that even though he beat haru, he is upset about it, and can’t understand why. it affects him badly, and his practice times gets worse; worse enough to be kicked off of the relay team. he even threatens to quit swimming for good once or twice.

rin gets his passion for swimming back only after he had swum with his old iwatobi friends again, with encouragement from rei, his replacement. seijuro asks him to be samezuka’s next captain not long after that.

he feels like he understands what haru means by ‘free’ now.

-

sousuke transfers to samezuka halfway through their last year of high school, and he and rin end up being roommates.

rin is excited to see him again, and sousuke expresses the same sentiment. rin is both surprised and elated that sousuke is scouted, and it pushes him to work even harder when it comes to swimming.

sousuke ends up asking to join the samezuka relay team as the part of the promise that the two had made years ago. rin says that the relay team is decided based on time, so they race each other for it. sousuke ends up winning, but rin also changes the rules so that only those who want it can join with their times.

(later on, rin makes his ultimate relay team with his former captain’s little brother momo, his former roommate ai, and sousuke, since all of their times qualified).

something about sousuke wanting to be on the relay team makes rin feel something strange, not unlike the feeling he had felt when he first met haru all those years ago.

except, this feeling is more  _ intense… _ as if it were more than just a crush.

rin’s not a stranger to sexual attraction, he’s spent many late nights in the shower in australia, but this is the first time in a long time that’s he’s felt such  _ admiration  _ and  _ attraction  _ towards someone. 

he wouldn’t dare tell sousuke though. he’s sure that sousuke’s not into that kind of stuff.

-

someone from the swim team sneaks alcohol into the locker rooms one night. luckily enough, rin was able to get it out of there before an official had caught it.

unfortunately, now rin has to deal with getting rid of it.

sousuke suggests that the two of them drink it since it would be a waste not to. there’s no school the next day, which means there’s no practice since most students go home on the weekends.

“fuck it,” rin says as he opens the bottles. “cheers.”

sousuke holds the other bottle up for a toast. “cheers.”

if rin is an emotional crybaby when he was sober, it gets worse when he was drunk. he ends up telling sousuke all about his horrific time in australia, even though he’s never told anyone before.

after a few too many drinks, the two end up making out on rin’s bunk until they’re too tired to do anything further. sousuke cuddles rin to sleep, and surprisingly, it's the best sleep rin’s had in ages.

-

as they’re getting ready for another tournament, rin notices that sousuke is acting strangely. he’s messed up his timing and he’s been skipping practices more and more recently.

although sousuke won’t say a word about it, rin knows that sousuke’s not at his best. sometimes he’ll catch him rubbing his shoulder.

rin tests his theory out by throwing a soda can at sousuke, and when he fails to catch it, that’s when rin knows.

sousuke explains that it’s been happening for a while now, due to overexertion. he tells rin that the reason he had worked so hard was that he wanted to swim with rin again in the future, no matter what.

“why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” rin asks, grabbing onto sousuke’s jacket. “why did you hide it?!”

“because if i told you, i knew you’d cry.”

“i won’t…” rin said through tears. “i won’t cry.”

he leans his head into sousuke’s chest, and sousuke puts a hand in his hair. 

sousuke knows rin too well.

“we should go soon, the relay is going to start,” sousuke says in an attempt to calm him down.

rin doesn’t want sousuke to swim. he won’t be able to handle it if sousuke can’t swim with him anymore.

ai, momo, and sousuke all convince him that this relay is the most important thing, when they finish the race, they don’t end up moving on to nationals, but rin still feels like he’s on top of the world because he was able to swim with sousuke, ai, and momo.

-

rin is approached by the advisor after swim practice a few days later. the advisor asks him what his plans are for the future, since so many scouts have already contacted him.

sousuke greets him when he gets back from the pool, and rin is caught off guard upon seeing sousuke’s shoulder brace.

“hey, welcome home.” sousuke hands him an envelope. “airmail for you.”

it’s a letter from russell and lori, his host family from australia.

rin tucks the letter somewhere else for now.

“hey, sousuke?”

“hm?”

“what are you going to do after graduation?” rin asks.

“not sure,” sousuke sighs. “maybe i’ll go back home and help my dad run his business.”

rin knows sousuke can’t swim while he’s injured, and he knew sousuke was planning on quitting after nationals, but...there’s suddenly a pain in rin’s chest, at the sudden thought of sousuke not swimming with him in the future.

“don’t make that face,” sousuke says suddenly, snapping rin out of his thoughts. “my dream already came true.”

that doesn’t make rin feel any better. in fact, it makes him feel worse. sousuke shouldn’t be giving up on his future.

-

rin plans on taking haru to australia when he’s having a crisis over what to do post-graduation, at makoto’s suggestion.

“i really want haru to see the future,” rin tells sousuke as he’s packing.

sousuke smiles softly. “you make such a nice face when you talk about him.”

rin doesn’t pay attention to that comment. he’ll always have a deep appreciation for haru, but just as rivals. he’s got his eye on someone else anyway.

sousuke tells him he wants “something not sweet” as a souvenir, and rin just looks at him strangely.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

“whatever you like is just fine.”

rin blushes and turns away from sousuke. since the night they made out with each other while drunk, it feels like his affections for sousuke have grown even deeper. their relationship has definitely changed too, and rin can’t tell if it’s because of the kiss or the melodramatic moment where he found out about sousuke’s shoulder.

probably a combination of both.

“come back safe.”

rin’s heart swells at the thought of sousuke being worried about him. he thinks it’s pathetic how whipped he is for sousuke.

-

he’s surprised when haru immediately agrees to go with him, but his heart broke when haru told him it was because of his fight with makoto.

“it’s just one little fight. sousuke and i fight all the time,” rin says.

it’s true though. since reuniting with sousuke, rin’s had to fight him for even just the simplest things.

the two of them just sit on the beach for a little while, until rin decides it’s time to go visit his host family from when he was in middle school.

(rin may or may not get embarrassed when russell and lori bring up his old crush on haru).

later that night, they find out that their hotel room only has one bed.

“this must be your fault. you and your girly name,” rin scoffs.

“aren’t you the one with the girly name?” haru retorts.

they bicker until rin decides to go to the front desk and asks for another room, only to get told ‘no.’

once they’re lying in bed, rin admits to himself that he looks up to haru and recalls the first time they met. it’s a bittersweet moment for him, but he’s just glad that haru’s finally found his dream.

rin figures that he’s going to go back to australia after graduation. he’ll probably appreciate the place more than he did when he was younger.

when they get home from australia, makoto meets them at the gates, and that’s when rin knew that everything would be alright.

iwatobi wins their relay race at nationals, and rin  _ definitely  _ doesn’t cry.

-

graduation rolls around the corner, and rin  _ cannot stop crying _ . he never understood what was so important about graduation.  _ so what, you finished school, congrats _ , but now that he’s graduated, it feels horrifically emotional.

there’s a moment where he and sousuke end up on samezuka’s roof watching the sunset. rin could get used to this feeling of being  _ happy _ .

damn sousuke for messing with his feelings.

rin looks up at sousuke, and sousuke looks back at him.

“what’s wrong?” he asks.

_ fuck it _ , rin thinks. he grabs sousuke by the collar and kisses him passionately. sousuke ends up kissing back.

a future without sousuke by his side is a bleak one. even if sousuke can’t swim anymore right now, there’s still other ways to be involved with swimming. like how makoto was a coach at the local pool for a little while.

“what was that for?” sousuke asks once they pull apart.

“move to australia with me,” rin pants. “i don’t care if you can’t swim anymore, there are other ways to be involved with swimming. teach others how not to fuck up their shoulder, i don’t care, just… stay by my side.”

sousuke looks at him with wide eyes. “you want me to go to australia with you?”

“don’t make me repeat myself,” rin mutters. 

sousuke kisses rin. “i’d love to go to australia with you.”

rin feels tears of happiness make their way from his eyes.

there’s nothing to worry about anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me!!  
> [tumblr](https://sudden-sky.tumblr.com) | [anime tumblr](https://marutsuke-haru.tumblr.com)


End file.
